Smiling
Smiling is infectious you can catch it like the flu
when someone smiled at me I started smiling too
when I passed the corner someone saw my grin
when he smiled I realized I passed it onto him
I thought about that smile and realized its worth
a single smile just like mine could travel round the earth
so if you feel a smile begin don't leave it undetected
lets start an epidemic quick and get the world infected
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When I Am An Old Man- No Red Hats For Me
WHEN I AM AN OLD MAN I SHALL DO AS I PLEASE. I'LL NOT COVER MY MOUTH WHEN I COUGH OR I SNEEZE. I'LL PUT ON A SHIRT THAT SPENT A WEEK ON THE FLOOR. I'LL EAT FIVE OR SIX COOKIES AND GO BACK FOR MORE. I'LL BURP AND I'LL BELCH, PASS GAS WITH A WINK, I'LL EAT FROM A DISH THAT SPENT WEEKS IN THE SINK. MY FAVORITE FOODS WILL COME FROM A CAN, I'LL EAT EVERY HOUR, THAT IS MY PLAN. I'LL FORGET MY ZIPPER, NOW THAT'S NOT SO BAD, FOR ALL YOU KNOW IT MIGHT START A NEW FAD. WHEN I AM AN OLD MAN, I'LL SAY WHAT I THINK. I'LL TELL YOU I'M TIRED OF BELLIES WITH RINGS. I'M TIRED OF NOSES AND TONGUES THAT GO CLINK. WHEN I AM AN OLD MAN I WONT HAVE TO BRAG, NO SPECIAL COLORS FOR ME, I'LL BE STARTING TO SAG. MY COLOR IS GRAY, HAS BEEN FOR YEARS. IT'S THE COLOR OF HAIR THAT GROWS IN MY EARS. I WONT NEED TO WEAR RED OR PURPLE YOU SEE, I'LL ADMIT THAT I'M OLD WHEN I'M ONE HUNDRED AND THREE.
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To My Alarm Clock
Every morning I lie there innocently sleeping
When the peace is ruptured by a horrible beeping.
My serenity ripped asunder, sudden and drastic
By this evil, demonic, red-eyed piece of plastic.
I roll over in pain and pound on the snooze,
Groaning, moaning, thinking 'What's there to lose?'
'Don't make me get up, just nine minutes more.'
The same thing I've said every morning before.
It's not that I hate mornings or dread the new day.
It's just that I loathe waking up in this way.
I'd much rather simply rise up with the light,
Glowing in the window, chasing away the night.
But the sudden screaming, the incessant fuss,
Makes me want to yell and cry and simply to cuss.
Especially the knowledge that all of my sorrow
Will be repeated the same time, same way, tomorrow.
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Senioritis
As the snow begins to melt, and grass beings to grow
The time has come again for every senior to know
Graduation is approaching, school will soon end.
No more boring homework, no drama amongfriends.
Summer will be excellent, relaxing in the sun.
We won't look back on what we've done
Because high school is soon over and young children must move on
After lugging around heavy backpacks, we are all very brawn.
Laughing, smiling, secrets and surprises
Are almost forgotten about when graduation arises.
So here's to the glory years, all the fun times we shared.
Get ready for the college years, is anyone prepared?
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Fashion Emergency
How on earth has this happened?
Oh, how will I fare?
It's the day of the party,
And I have NOTHING to wear!
What shall I do?
I will go to the mall.
But there are so many choices,
Like Rome I will fall.
Now here is a store,
A perfect boutique;
I must ensure this outfit
Cannot be critiqued.
It must be creative,
And one of a kind.
This one is perfect,
How on earth did I find.
But the size is too small,
The price is too high!
There just is no way
I can hope to get by.
Now this dress is an option,
Several ruffles in blue,
But Hurray! I have found it
Almost exactly on cue!
This little red dress with sparkly straps
Is just what I need.
It's unique and original
The fashion trends I'll soon lead!
I have arrived at the party
Wearing my cute new clothes;
This fun and unique dress
Will gain compliments I know.
But wait what is this?
Five other girls with my dress!
This couldn't have happened,
It's simply a mess.
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Bathroom Break--oops To Late!
I sit here in my chair
Wriggling like a worm
I hope my teacher doesn't see me
Jiggle, wiggle, squirm.
I shift to the left
I scoot to the right
I cross my legs over
and I squeeze them awfully tight.
Perhaps I should have gone
To the bathroom when she said
Oh, no I feel a tinkle
Now my face is turning red!
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Morning Poem
Woke early one morning,
the earth lay cool and still,
when suddenly a tiny bird,
perched on my window sill,
it sang a song so lovely,
so carefree and so gay,
that slowly all my troubles,
began to slip away,
it sang of far off places,
of laughter and of fun,
it seemed his very song,
brought out the morning sun,
I pulled back the covers,
and crept slowly out of bed,
and gently shut the window,
and crushed his freaking head,
I'm not a morning person
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Automotive Safety Survey
A few months ago, my debts were discharged;
My bankruptcy over, I was once more at large
To spend as I would, with no legal imbroglios,
My credit card debt had gone the way of the dodoes.
So I bought me a car, a two-thousand-two Sable;
To say what were the payments I'd be wholly unable.
I drove to Ohio, to Kentucky, then back
To old Indiana, where I raced on a track.
Before long the car was just rust on a frame;
But call it a car? Sure, but only in name.
Soon the repo man came, with his truck and his cable;
And pried from my grip the wheel of that Sable.
So I bought me a Nissan, I think an aught-three;
Which I drove and I drove until I met a tree.
It was a white maple, I now seem to recall;
Or was it the Nissan which I met with that wall?
No, into the wall I drove the Mitsubishi;
The diners were stunned, yet remained quite chi-chi.
Next my Isuzu slid over a cliff;
Just as I stopped to give someone a lift.
Good thing for me, I had just stepped out;
Yet I still wished that I had avoided that route.
So then what became of my ninety-nine Ford?
I think of it often, at least when I'm bored.
It was a nice one, with air foils and flames;
A genuine favorite of alla' the dames.
All I remember's the noise of the crash;
My recollection goes by in a flash.
I awoke in a bed, bandaged down to my toes;
The doctors called it luck that I retained those.
The car was a loss, you can take it from me;
A loss to the earth, 'though a gain for the sea.
I also once lost an eighty-nine Chevy;
That sucker crashed, then plunged off of a levy.
I have much better luck with Chryslers and Dodges;
Even I can't wreck those slamming into mirages.
But you can't wreck a car on an illusory basis;
At least you must wait till you find an oasis.
So here I sit in the midst of the sand;
With nothing for miles but this dust-covered land.
Just me in this two-thousand-one Dodge SUV;
I don't wanna wreck it; now how would that be?
I'll sit here in the desert and just wait, alas;
It helps that I long ago ran out of gas.
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Ode To A Dark Kitty Ninja
Every night when darkness falls
an innocent kitten breaks cat law.
Balancing like an acrobat,
walks along an oak tree branch.
Hurry's over the roof with speed.
Then begins his robbing scheme.
Jumps from the roof with a silent fall,
hits the ground and jumps a wall.
Through the neighbor's fence and gate,
to their cats water and takes a drink.
Then another-then another-then,
SLURP!!!!!!
Finally the last bit is gone.
It is now time for the foods downfall.
Smells good to a cat. Like fish.
The cat dives for the food like a fruit bat that has just spotted an orchard.
CRUNCH!!!!!
The last survivors are destroyed.
Then as silently as he had come,
the thief is gone.
In the morning when I open the door.
The innocent kitten sits there like before.
Until the next night, my little friend.
Until the next night,
when the dark kitty ninja strikes again.
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I Am
I am a flower and have prickles
I wonder if I'm strong
I hear the wind
I see the rain
I want to let go of all my pain
I am a flower and I have prickles
I pretend to be dangerous
I feel the wet soil
I touch the earths core
I worry if I'll wither
I cry, and release
all of my agony and pain
I am a flower and I have prickles
I try,and understand the hurt
I say I'm nothing but dirt
I dream to blossom and sprout
I try not to believe in doubt
I hope to change and get rid of all my pain
I have planted my roots, for I will always remain
I am a flower and I have prickles
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Marty's Adventure
An Irish pub, the place to be,
For a couple drinks just you and me,
Oh please! One more round oh kind sir,
A little more I'll be drunk for sure,
Later my head begins to spin,
With thoughts of puking, where's the trash bin,
I remain to gander a line,
At that fine honey, man she is fine,
She wasn't refusing my charm,
I told her that I meant her no harm,
Looking so good I couldn't preach,
I bought her a drink, sex on the beach,
One drink brought two, two became three,
Hormones were flying high, we were free,
Left the bar in quite a hurry,
Got in the car no need to worry,
Took her back to my pimpin pad,
Woke up late, believe me it was bad,
Don't go out to drink and party,
You may wake up with a guy named Marty!
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Take Me
Take me away to the wilds of the woods
Make me free to love the soft green hills
Mosey me down a stringy rocky stream
Carry me to the end of this impossible dream
Send my tears dripping to the heart of the storm
Rend my ache from a soul trodden and worn
Lift my press crushing each breath
Pick my sorrow out from my breast
Kiss the sunbeams before they rise each morn
Bless each ship as it sails from it's mooring
Consent each trial as you test our faith
Lament each sinner as his testimony is stayed
Help me home in my hours of despair
Delve me into kind and comforting care
Soothe me softly to silent sleep
Remove me to paradise where my laughter will keep
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